I ask, because my family and its collective gaggle of kids was about as discreet as a three-ring circus during today’s service. Ironic, since my kids are—at this very moment—visiting a circus with their paternal grandparents.
My offspring
The chaos began with my almost three-year-old son. He’s a grazer. Always a healthy breakfast, followed by a morning of frequent snacking. I bring Multi-Grain Cheerios and bananas to keep him satisfied. But GRANDMA … she brings cookies and M&Ms and horrible candies that stain their teeth purple or blue.
Sugar + six kids of solid-food-eating age = Crisis
Then there was my brother’s boy—17 months of pure ornery cuteness. He likes to sneak away. He loves it when people chase him … especially during church. Grandma took him to the basement to run free.
My brother's offspring
My sister’s 3-month-old twin boys demanded to be fed. Then they demanded to fall asleep. Since sister’s hubby was sick at home today, I happily grabbed a baby. Sister and baby #1 went to the basement. He needs quiet to fall asleep. Baby #2 couldn’t be settled, so I ended up in the basement, too. Then came my hubby—with my son, who had to pee.
My sister's offspring
If you’ve lost count, that’s 1-2-3-4-5-6-7- COUNT EM – 8 members of my family hanging out in the church basement. It was a communion of chaos. Desperate folks trying hard not to disturb the other 80 people attempting to hear the sermon in the sanctuary.
DEAR CONGREGATION: I apologize for the spectacle we make on a weekly basis. My family sits together at the back of the church in an effort to contain the noise. The eight of us who are adults usually succeed. The other members of our clan—ages 8, 7, 6, 4, almost 3, 17 months, three months and three months, fail.
Repeatedly.
So we endure a rather un-holy communion in the church basement—accepting servings of “Boo-hoo-h00!” and “Shush!”
P.S. My other sister will have a baby girl in June. We’re almost ready to open the “Church of the Holy Moses! They’re So Loud We Kicked ‘Em Out And Now They Meet In A Barn!”
We had a southern gospel group come to sing at our church. On our pew, there my 2 kids, my sister-in-law’s 3 kids, and 2 other kids that don’t belong to our family but always end up with us. And right there in church, my son begins to dance because he just can’t stop it. You could see him try to sit still but he couldn’t. He’s dancing, raising his hands in praise, then playing the air guitar. Too cute. We would have stopped him if we could have stopped laughing. And don’t worry, everyone there saw it.
Yep that’s our brand of religion! Pure and utter chaos!!! But remember Jesus Loves the Little Children…
That is sooo hilarious! I can’t wait to join in the fun! We could definitely start a church, we already have a singer, a piano player, and lots of men that like to preach! LOL
Well, I didn’t realize you recorded this event since it usually is an every Sunday happening! I really think others notice – but don’t care just saying to themselves, “I’m glad that clan doesn’t belong to me!”
P.S. and I don’t always bring sugary snacks; however, Nanny’s “stuff” is always better.
P.P.S. God is just glad we all show up on Sundays!