Pressures and one-liners

Every Sunday evening, I gather my three kids and the hubby and drag them to my parents’ house where we join my siblings and their broods for supper. It’s a crazy, sometimes painful, always rip-roarin’ good time.

It’s crazy. I already said that, but trust me … it’s worth mentioning again.

One-liners
In addition to jokes and wild stories and comparing latest exploits, it’s also become tradition to sport our newest T-shirts. We’re a family of wordsmiths, apparently, and love a good line.

Personally, I’ve worn T-shirts that say: I value suggestions as long as they are my own and I like to let my mind wander, but it never comes back! and of course, Farmgirl. My favorite was a black T-shirt I wore while pregnant: F.B.I. Fabulous Baby Inside. Those are mild.

Today my brother’s T-shirt showcased a large male cow. In bold letters it said, BULL SHIRT! He also likes the one with short sleeves that says Welcome to the Gun Show. Arrows point to his biceps.

My husband, who herded kids after supper, wore a shirt appropriately adorned with, Wildlife Management Team. He also favors his INFIDEL shirt with an advertisement for U.S. Tactical Supply on the back. My mom got him a Yes, Dear! T-shirt for Christmas.

Then there’s my brother-in-law. He proudly sports shirts that say things like, Free Insults – come get yours! and I’m outta bed and dressed, what more do you want? and Vegetables are not food. Vegetables are what food eat.

You get the picture … basically, we’re a bunch of smarty pants people.

Fun factor
We are also easily amused. Do you know what we did for entertainment after supper? Someone started talking about high blood pressure.

My mother, in her infinite fast-approaching dementia-induced wisdom, pulled out her blood pressure monitor. She checked everyone. Of course we were all too high—who wouldn’t be ready to explode in such a chaos of kids, grandmas feeding said kids candy and sibling rivalry. Add in a healthy dose of high decibel conversation, noisy toys and bouts of uncontrollable laughter, and we’re all ready to combust.

After nurse grandma diagnosed everyone with high blood pressure, we sat around meditating and practicing our deep breathing exercises, trying to lower our pressures to normal.

Yes, really. That’s how we spent the evening. Trying to outdo each other’s blood pressure readings.

Ahhh, nothin’ like Sunday with the family.