Hens and emergency rooms don’t mix

Wow. You won’t believe the stories I have to tell you! First of all, I came across this darling curtain rod while searching online for … curtain rods. It’s perfect for you primitive addicts. If you can’t find enough cruddy old and charming shutters to cover your windows, how about some hand-hewn brackets, a limb rod (not a nimrod) … and perhaps some tea-stained cheesecloth? Give it a try. Send me a photo if it works out. I’d love to see!

I also came across this photo. I save it as a reminder to myself that I need some shadow boxes. I’m not sure where to buy them … maybe I could make them. My grandpa’s old Mount Union College basketball uniform is crying out for a shadow box of its own. So are some of the darling garments from my Great-Great-Grandmother’s treasure box.

But that’s a project for another day …

First I have to finish the mess project I started in my girls’ bedroom. I spent the weekend painting the floor chocolate brown, supervising the hanging of the cute little chandelier that had 10,000 stupid little glass hangy-downy-things that took me forever to attach, and transforming two very large curtain panels purchased on ebay for $12 into four, slightly smaller curtain panels.

Oh, I also supervised the hanging of two curtain rods. Did you know it’s difficult to get curtain rods level when the ceiling is not level, and neither are the windows? Using a level does not help because when the curtains are perfectly precise, the ceiling looks perfectly ridiculous.

But we made it work.

I love old houses.

I still need to paint the closet doors a creamy antique white and reattach the baseboard. Did I mention how nice the chocolate floors look with the princess pink walls?

I want to move in and be eight years-old again.

Really. I do. Because being thirty … something … is very  hard. And it’s exhausting.

And speaking of living without sleep for days, I have to explain why I have not posted photos of the mess project in my girls’ room. This weekend … before I painted the floor and made curtains and attached 10,000 hangy-downy-things to a small chandelier, I spent all night in the emergency room.

Wait. Stop. Don’t panic. Everyone is fine. After running 25,000 tests that all came back negative, they determined that FarmGuy is as fit as a slightly out-of-tune fiddle. Here’s what I learned …

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  • If you go to the ER with chest pains and irregular heartbeats you can bypass sitting in the waiting room for four hours like the poor people with flu-like symptoms. Hard to believe, but it’s true.
    
  • After they determine you ARE NOT having another heart attack, they will run as many other ridiculous tests as your insurance company can handle. Shocker, I know.
     
  • If you answer affirmatively that you’ve been on an airplane within the last month they will run a test to see if there’s a blood clot in your lung … even if you’re NOT having difficulty breathing.

And finally …

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  • When the kindly nurse asks if you’ve been on or near a poultry farm recently, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT! utter without thinking first due to lack of sleep … “Well we have our own hens.” First of all, the poor woman will stare at you in disbelief and exclaim, “Really?!” And then she’ll get all concerned about avian flu. And you’ll roll your eyes and assure her that they are completely FREE of avian flu. And you will swear to it on the lives of all 286 of your closest friends and family.

SIGH.

Here’s what I’ve decided. Apparently, there is just so much dog-goned love in this family that we’ve broken FarmGuy’s heart. It’s just too much to handle. Too many hugs, kisses and laughs. So I’ve determined that every Tuesday and Thursday at 6:02 p.m. we’re all going to stand around and scream at one another, hurl insults and pout for 30 minutes. That should do the trick. Don’t you think?

Here’s one more photo for your viewing pleasure … since the Farmgirl who runs this blog is apparently too busy with mundane matters to post new stuff from her messes projects. (Don’t worry … I’ll get on it ASAP!)

This is about the cutest, cheeriest little dining room I’ve ever seen. And I love dogs … and big checkered prints. I do want to know, though …

How on earth do they keep that glossy white floor so clean?