Blake Shelton, the Grinch & some beaches

The Grinch stole my Christmas spirit.

Blake Shelton helped me laugh it back.

My day began with I’ll Be Home for Christmas, quickly moved on to Where Are You Christmas? and now, at 4 p.m. on the day before Christmas Eve, I’m left with Blake Shelton’s Some Beach! 

He’s helping me regain my Jingle Bell Rock.

If you want to just skip the next part and go listen to a great song, click here. I’ll understand.

The day began with a trip to the doctor.
Oldest daughter has double ear infections — 10 days of amoxicillin will fix her right up. All was well with the world, until the doc read on the chart: homeschooled. Then she launched us into a lengthy discussion. For the record, I should have said the following, wished her a merry Christmas and departed with a curt nod.

“We are not mutant weirdos. I’m well-educated, normal and sane. Of course I vaccinate my children. Yes we celebrate Christmas and why wouldn’t we have a tree? Do they seem shy, strange and anti-social to you?”

But I didn’t say that. I’m too polite … too bad she isn’t!

We left the doctor’s and headed to piano lessons. All was well. I called my sister, invited her to join us for lunch. She brought the twins. I pulled into the parking lot … and you guessed it [sing it, Blake].

From out of nowhere, a lady turned right in front of me and stole the spot … the one I was turning into with my blinker on! I simply called, “Merry Christmas!” to her and perused for another.

At this point I’m slightly irritated and bewildered. Not angry. Not yet.

We had to wait for a table. No problem. It’s Christmas. People are shopping, they’re enjoying the season with family and friends. It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. As we were seated — my sister with her one-year-old twins and me with my brood of three — a man asked: “Are you two trying to populate the earth?”

For the record: the kind waitress told us we had very well-behaved children. I left  her a very well-earned tip.

As we prepared to leave, my son took off in another direction. I caught the hood of his coat in my fingertips and hauled him back. It was gentle. He did not suffer. He was in no danger. He didn’t even gasp for breath.

But a lady who had been heckling the kids during our meal … the lady who said to her companions — and I quote — “I like to wind them all up and then send them back to their parents!” … saw me corral my son. She exclaimed, right there in the midst of a crowded restaurant, “She’s choking him. She just choked him! I could press charges — she choked him.”

Choking someone never crossed my mind … until that very moment. [sing it again, Blake]

Where Are You Christmas? I’m not sure what happened today.

Folks were eager, disrespectful, rude and mean. We should have stayed home. And we will, tomorrow. Forget crowded streets, frustrated shoppers and grouchy old ladies. We’re going to stay in our jammies, watch Christmas movies, eat popcorn and dream of a White Christmas.

From now on, I’ll Be Home for Christmas … because my shopping is finished and I don’t want the grinches to rub off on my happy little bubble of cheer.

Joy to the World … and peace and goodwill to all men, women, children, waitresses, country singers and mean, little busy-bodies.

And because I’m in a strange mood I will quote Larry, the CableGuy.

“Lord, I apologize … ” for this post. Because it’s nothing anybody really wanted to read. Tomorrow, I promise, I will return to photos of happy children, kind neighbors and twinkling lights.

Sometimes a girl just has to vent.

O Come All Ye Faithful readers … tomorrow. I promise it’ll be better! And I’ll throw in a recipe featuring chocolate, just for you!