Farmgirl Follies

For the beauty of the earth

Posted by Farmgirl on January 31, 2010  |  6 Comments

“He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, 
   miracles that cannot be counted.”  ~ Job 5:9

“Praise the LORD, O my soul.
       O LORD my God, you are very great;
       you are clothed with splendor and majesty.

He makes springs pour water into the ravines;
       it flows between the mountains. “       ~ Psalm 104: 1, 10

“He restores my soul.”  ~ Psalm 23:3

Men & Boys

Posted by Farmgirl on January 30, 2010  |  1 Comment

Here’s a little something I came across.

Ladies … here is proof that men will always be little boys who never grow up. And when it comes down to it, they are not hard to figure out at all.

Men … you will find this highly entertaining. And chances are you will try this the next time you have a tape measure in hand.

Have a great weekend. And if you’re building or renovating a house … be sure to check on your contractor every once in awhile.

Pow, right in the kisser

Posted by Farmgirl on January 29, 2010  |  3 Comments

I didn’t pay much attention when these nice folks began to line up on the stairs.

He was quite proud when his masterpiece was completed.

He yelled up the steps, “Come ooooooon, everybody!”

The sisters came running.  Clearly, there was a plan in motion.

Whispering … giggles … argument over who goes first …

And then I understood.

Hesitation on my part.

Should I be disturbed by the impending massacre? 

Should I offer suggestions for better aim?

Did these fine folks deserve what was coming to them?

She fired before I could decide.

And then I understood. She’d had her own plan all along.

She hit her target with the ease of a sharpshooter.

The folks on the stairs didn’t say much … but the boy behind let out a loud squawk of protest.

Yep, she’d had him in her sights all along.

Iron man

Posted by Farmgirl on January 28, 2010  |  6 Comments

We had another family Iron Chef competition last night.

This is our Iron Man … he edged out the white bean chili by one point, taking the cake with his homemade vanilla bean ice cream. It was the creamiest, richest, most delicious ice cream I have ever eaten. I need to get the recipe.

Did you guess the secret ingredient?

Beans. Don’t worry … we served Gas-X for an appetizer.

The diversity of bean recipes was amazing. We feasted on black bean brownies and baked bean-chili-mac. We sampled a cream cheese-pineapple-bean dip … fried chick peas … jelly bean ice cream … bean burritos … green beans … Southern succotash.

A feast.

And because we should all learn something new every day, here are some bean facts:

•  
  • Beans are one of the longest-cultivated plants. Broad beans have been grown in Thailand since the early seventh millennium BC, predating ceramics. (At least that’s what Wikipedia says.)
  • Beans were deposited on the dead in ancient Egypt.
  • In the Iliad (8th century), there’s a mention of beans and chickpeas cast on the threshing floor.
  • The oldest-known domesticated beans in the Americas were found in Guitarrero Cave in Peru and dated to around the second millennium B.C.
  • There are over 4,000 cultivars of bean on record in the United States alone.

Such valuable facts … I’m sure we can now say ”Yes!” to the question, Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?

Our family Iron Chef competitions have become a monthly tradition. There were more attendees during the Christmas edition. No secret ingredient in December … we all made appetizers. What a swell way to celebrate the holidays.

My, oh my, we’re good cooks. Seriously.

You should all come and share in the calories. Delicious!

And the conversations are intellectually stimulating.

And good company and great food prompt lots of smiling, happy people holding hands.

Oh wait … there’s no hand-holding.

The competition is fierce … don’t let those pretty smiles fool you.

And then there’s the  storytelling and the philosophizing … it’s first-class B.S., let me tell ya.

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family.
Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.”

                                                                             ~ Jane Howard

DANGER: cabin fever

Posted by Farmgirl on January 27, 2010  |  1 Comment

The epidemic has spread to my kids.

Cabin fever. Grumpy Gus syndrome. The cranky plague. Hissy fit harumphing.

It’s bad. It’s cold … and as jagged as an iceberg. Which is why it’s a perfect time to study ice and snow and Arctic regions and the animals living there. Reverse psychology.

We’ve been studying snowflakes. We’ve learned the difference between fern frost and rime frost and hoar frost. My freezer is full of plastic bottles of water, filled to varying degrees for experiments — but that’s ok. It means they’re busy … and hopefully, not picking on each other or driving me up the wall, out the chimney, over the fence or into the woods.

Do you know Jean Craighead George?

(photos belong to Jean Craighead George)

George has magical stories in her heart and mind, and she has crafted them into more than 100 books. You may know her from stories like Julie of the Wolves or My Side of the Mountain — the story of a boy and a falcon surviving on a mountain together.

Get this: her first pet was a turkey vulture!

George is a Penn State grad. She worked as a reporter for The Washington Post, and was a member of the White House Press Corps. After her children were born she returned to her love of nature and brought owls, robins, mink, sea gulls, tarantulas — 173 wild animals — into their home and backyard. These became characters in her books.

We’re reading one of her stories today.

We’re learning about icebergs and polar bears.

And it’s going to be fun, darnit! And if it’s not … if it doesn’t cure grumpy gus syndrome, I’ll make them write a five-page report about the Arctic tundra followed by a polar bear swim in the water trough.

That should do the trick!

“I’ve never known any trouble that an hour’s reading didn’t assuage.” ~ Charles de Secondat

“Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers.” ~ Charles W. Eliot

Books to the ceiling
Books to the sky
My pile of books is a mile high.
How I love them! How I need them!
I’ll have a long beard by the time I read them!
        ~ Arnold Lobel

Nagging suspicion

Posted by Farmgirl on January 26, 2010  |  5 Comments

I’ve come to a conclusion.

You know how women are often accused of nagging? I’ve decided it’s totally unwarranted in most cases. I think men are the real problem. I think since they never listen the first time — don’t take us seriously the first time — we continue to repeat ourselves.

Thus, we’re deemed naggers.

How did I reach this conclusion?

It’s a funny story, really.

Really. I find it highly amusing.

Once upon a time, about three months ago, I told Farmguy that my vehicle was steering funny.

“What do you mean?” he asked, with nary an interest.

“Well, when I brake it pulls really hard to the right and it just feels off … like I’m fighting the tires or something. I think it needs aligned.”

“Probably,” he said.

“Well could you get it fixed?” I questioned with growing impatience.

“Yeah.”

That was — like I said — three months ago.

I should have taken matters into my own hands … but when it comes to vehicular repairs I’m pretty sure I posted that in Farmguy’s category when we got married. Anyway …

About a month ago, I explained that the steering was really feeling funny. ”Sometimes it feels like the tires are going in the opposite direction of the steering wheel. It’s really strange,” I said.

“I’ll make an appointment to get it aligned,” he promised.

This back-n-forth dialogue continued for about four weeks … until I finally demanded that he please, please get my car fixed. And he did … last Saturday.

And it needed aligned.

But they couldn’t align it right away. Why?

Because it had a broken tie rod end.

What does a tie rod do? It’s the thing that makes the steering wheel control the tires.

So I said it.

I couldn’t help it … it was either say what was on my mind or bite my tongue off.

“I TOLD YOU SOMETHING WAS WRONG!” I exclaimed.

And Farmguy, being the happy-go-lucky, even-keeled fellow I love simply replied, “Yep.”

So ladies … it’s not nagging.

It’s getting something accomplished when thick-headed men won’t act as quickly as necessary.

Keep it up. It’s the only way things are gonna get done.

Love,
A Nagger now steering in the right direction

Axe men

Posted by Farmgirl on January 24, 2010  |  2 Comments

Need a reason to have kids?

The more kids you have, the more you can accomplish. I make them stack wood every day and twice on Sundays.

No, not really.

Just once on Saturdays.

It promotes teamwork and compromise.

It builds strong muscles.

And it keeps me warm … cuz when Mama’s not happy warm, nobody’s happy.

Speaking of being happy … I love little boys in bib overalls.

I love big boys in overalls, too.

Except when big boys in overalls refuse to smile for the camera. It upsets me.

Revenge.

I took a photo of his backside.

He finds me very annoying.

Especially when I try to make him smile for the camera.

He hates it.

But I usually succeed.

Just call me queen of the axe man.

Or the court jester.

Class clown?

Or you could call me the Big Bad Wolf.

Look!

There’s Little Red Riding Hood.

For the birds

Posted by Farmgirl on January 23, 2010  |  No Comments

It’s winter.

Don’t forget to feed your feathered friends.

It’s winter.

Time to find projects to keep little hands busy and out of trouble.

It’s winter.

Time for peanut butter smears on your walls and bird seed all over the floor.

It’s winter.

And getting together for fun little projects is part of being neighborly.

And don’t forget to feed all the little boys blue.

Afternoon fly-by

Posted by Farmgirl on January 21, 2010  |  2 Comments

We heard them coming about 45 seconds before they appeared.

I grabbed my camera … usually they’re too far away or I’m not close enough to grab and go for a shot.

But today I was ready.

I ran outside. 

I took a photo.

And then I took this photo …

And then I had a perfect shot of both planes over the barn …

And my camera beeped. Card full.

Because photos of green beans in a skillet are so much more interesting and shouldn’t be deleted, of course.

*sigh*

Oh well … not every girl gets a fly-by on her birthday!

Eye spy

Posted by Farmgirl on January 21, 2010  |  No Comments

January thaw.

Happens every year. Inches of snow melt quickly with rising temperatues and pouring rain. And then the grass appears. And cabin fever feels relieved. And when it’s 40 degrees we rejoice because it feels like spring … at least the little people think so.

And who am I to dash their happiness with stories of impending doom in February and March?

We spend more hours outside, instead of the bare minimum required to get the jobs done. We gaze at the hillsides with their patches of green and brown, springs that suddenly come to life and cascade down the hillsides and into the creek.

We play king of the mountain on our way to greet the newest steers in the feedlot. We laugh and play and giggle and feel silly.

Oh.

Oh. no.

No, no, no!

Stop!

Don’t. you. do. it.

But mawwwwwwmy … !

He cannot resist.

Pure joy.

That’s what you’re seeing right there.

And here …

And that’s ok.

It’s only mud. Right? Riiiiiight?

But knowing that spring is definitely not here yet, please forgive me for wishing for freezing temps to get here soon.

Before every article of clothing he has is mud-stained.

Before I have to spend funds in my vacation jar on gravel to quench the mud.

Before my washing machine goes down in a blaze of muddied glory …

… a final protest to the abuse I have forced it to endure since the last time it broke.

Bring on winter.

I still have some hibernating to do.