Old Mother Hubbard

I know … a little provocative for a Monday.

Trust me, it’s not every day I show off the inside of my refrigerator, but it was the only way I could convey my family’s dismay. What you’re seeing — and about to see — is vacation void. We cleared the food out for the trip east and I have yet to restock.

We may have condiments …

… but little else. A few potatoes, a half-eaten bag of baby carrots and of course, the ever-present deer trail bologna. I don’t think we’ll ever run out of that stuff.

After searching the cupboards and declaring them bare, Farmguy did the only thing he could do:

He made raspberry iced tea. He doesn’t even like flavored tea … but we had some in the bare cupboards.

It gave him hope.

Honestly, though … we’re not completely barren.

We have salsa and whipped cream and pickles. There are a few Danimals left from our trip, so the kids have something to snack on between missing meals. And look … Swiss cheese! Maybe they’ll be hungry enough to actually try it. Like tomatoes, Swiss cheese is banished to my palate. No one else will get within three feet of the stuff. (You should see them cringe when I haul out the blue cheese!)

By the way … don’t let that carton fool you into thinking I could make scrambled eggs. It would be more appropriate to suggest scrambled egg.

Ahhh, yes. The essentials.

Three things we can never, ever be without in this house. Even Mother Hubbard must have kept a few Club crackers around somewhere. And if she lived with my children, she’d be deported for running out of Cheez-Its. And everybody loves Honey-Nut Cheerios, right?

I thought so.

A trip to the pantry takes a turn for the worse.

We’re prepared for a spaghetti dinner and a skunk invasion, that’s for sure. We have coffee and tea, so Mama and Daddy can still rise and shine in the morning.

And then there’s the beans … supper last night included a can of Bush’s. It also involved sausage and some stuffing … it was a mixed-up mess of goulash glory. The kids loved it. And hey, I used up the bag of stuffing that’s been sitting in here since last Thanksgiving.

Don’t worry, I won’t post a recipe.

Never fear … this year when there’s a pumpkin shortage, I’ll be prepared.

Very, very prepared.

It’s the lack of everything else that’s making them grumpy.

I need fresh fruits.

Fresh veggies.

Bread, milk and eggs.

I need …

Oh … wait … I’m saved.

Who cares if my kids have to spread cream cheese on their Cheez-Its? Who cares if I have to force feed them deer trail bologna for three meals in a row, adding insult to injury when I admit we’re out of ketchup.

Old Mother Hubbard’s cupboard has chocolate!

Yahoooo!

P.S. if you decide to make s’mores, try Reese’s cups instead of a Hershey bar. You won’t believe it.